Letters to Santa

Early every Christmas season I have my kids write their annual letters to Santa - a good writing exercise, complete with the prerequisite niceties before they just delve into pure unadulterated greed. This year I got quite a chuckle out of my 7 year old son's letter. Not one to mince words, he begins: "Dear Santa, Hope you are good. Here's my list:" (a warm entry, guaranteed to impress any Saint Nick) followed by a tornado of items (literally cascading in the shape of a tornado) down the page. The list includes a litany of things ranging from the trite and fanciful to the expensive and ridiculous. On the list was a pet SNAKE (soooo not happening), a Carrera (does this mean Porsche?!),  and every toy that has made a cameo appearance on a television commercial during the past month (who says advertising doesn't work?)

"How about asking how the reindeer and Mrs. Clause are doing," I asked? "They're fine" he said, too eager to ensure he gets what's coming to him. "Santa doesn't like greedy children," I added. He just grinned (this only applies to other greedy children, silly me.) Sigh. I just hope he doesn't actually complain about his gifts again this year. Last year he volunteered to donate all his new books to the "poor children" and told his Auntie Peggy that she got him the wrong Zhu Zhu pet. Even hard lessons fall on deaf ears. He lost privileges and gifts for these transgressions, and has been duly forewarned about repeating these mistakes but we live in fear of a repeat. Dad likes to remind him that Santa is a generous man but that his wallet will slam shut in a New York minute if you try him.

Dear Santa, I have to believe........that you take returns!

If anyone has funny letters to Santa you would like to share with me, I would be glad to post them on my blog. Contact me via this blog or on Facebook.